My officemate invited me to go out tonight. To spend the whole night in gay places and go wild.
But he said! Meeting at 22:30! Going out at midnight! How can I not be already a total zombie by then!

*making coffee* ☕

Bad gay bar experience, agressive flirting 

Very promiscuous gay bar where people just go to to agressively flirt with the most attractive guys they can find? Didn't feel friendly either to any guy looking older than a student (dansing alone in the corners), nor to me.
They were also some women (everyone assumed I was one). My officemate said they come here because they feel safer. If that's true I'm worried for them, because the straight guys were so agressively touchy in there.

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Bad gay bar experience, crowd issues 

My officemate complained that the girls were agressively elbowing their way through the crowd. I guess he's just too tall to notice that flirting dansing guys don't care if they are just pushing smaller people around.
I was several times grabbed by the shoulders and moved to the side so someone can pass by, I'm not enjoying that either.

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Bad gay bar experience, alcohol, no physical agency, cptsd 

Actually I was just grabbed and moved so much, by guys wanting to pass by, or by my friends who just tried to push me on the pole stage (I guess they thought "no way" = "convince me again when I'm drunk"), or by some straight guy who was not happy that my hands were not resting properly on his shoulder and just kept moving them back.
So I just dissociated to keep pretending and went non-verbal for the whole day after that :shrug_r2:

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But I'm ok now, cptsd 

I'm ok, now, though.

I hadn't gone nonverbal in a long time and I had never made the link to cptsd, and I can talk about it to my therapist next time, and now I know a bit more about myselft and that I don't enjoy those kind of places :shrug_r2:

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I drew a sad self-portrait yesterday and I like it because fantasy clothes are the best clothes and also the face is accurately asymmetrical but also very hot.

@Yulran Super bien ! Du coup tu verrais les tissus de la première tunique, de la jupe et de la ceinture de quelles couleurs ?

@cassandre Je les visualisais en noir et blanc. Mais si je devais vraiment les porter… rouge et noir peut-être ?

@Yulran d'accord :) j'avais un vague souvenir de tes dessins de ce style avec des couleurs plutôt pastel

@cassandre C'est possible ! Ca me rappelle un de mes persos de jdr qui etait habille a peu pres comme ca, lui c'etait en blanc et bleu clair.

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