Instead of working I've spent basically my whole time since yesterday's badly ending meeting doing all the online ADHD quizzes and writing down symptoms lists and looking up doctors and thinking for the 4th or 5th time I should really try to get checked out once, but also I won't because what if I discover I'm just unmotivated and incompetent instead 
Will I ever discover whether or not I have ADHD, the adventure
I had in my list a local neurologist for a while, but when I looked again they didn't give out appointments until next year, so I was planning to wait.
But then I spend the evening (day 
) on the subject again, and I found a french-speaking one in Berlin, and french might be required if they need to interview family. There's no visible appointment available but I said screw it and sent a message 
Will I ever discover whether or not I have ADHD, the adventure
I caught up with my sister for the first time in 2-ish years, it turns out she got diagnosed with ADHD and some form of autism. And her therapist thinks like mine that our father likely is autistic, from what we tell about him. I often heard that both are linked and run in families, so that's interesting to report when I get an appointment mid-January.
