math
Can't do anything today, not even sucessfully calculate an average, time to stop and go hide my shame in books.
Time to declare that I am done being useless for the day, and I can start to actually do work stuff tomorrow with a slight idea of what I'm doing.
Wanna read books under a blanket
Good monday!
I'm tired because I'm not used anymore to get up before noon, sad because my boyfriend left again yesteday, distracted because I'm in home office this week (even if I only have my work computer available because the hard drive of mine suddently died).
And I have no idea anymore what are physics and what my job was about
thoughts on childhood trauma & culture
Earlier today I was thinking about how common it is for parents to say things like:
βI give you food and water and clothes and a roof. You should be eternally grateful, I could just let you starve on the street and die but I donβtβ (and usually accompanying this is other emotionally/psychologically abusive behavior)
What it communicates to a child is that they are not inherently deserving of basic necessities. And that nobody is. (1/?)
It's 9am here, I'm on the bus back to home, and what is that outside? Is that⦠almost day light?
i reformatted a zine i made earlier this year to post it as a thread.
1)
i was frustrated with the language used to describe gender and how limiting it is as a nonbinary/genderqueer person to use language centered around the gender binary. this is what sprung from that frustration:
Looking to find more non-white folks who are #trans , #nonbinary and/or #wlw
so interact w this and say hi if you are
(White ppl can boost) β€οΈπ
8/8 Anyway, it's always good to watch your language, watch your assumptions, etc. Don't let mega corps trick you into slandering Vietnamese, Chinese, Honduran, Bangladeshi, etc. workers for the necessary outcomes of the systems developed by the corporations!
Your crappy quality blouse isn't crappy because it was made in Vietnam. It's crappy because a corporation cut every cost to make it that way.
Jupiter with three of its moons - Europa, Ganymede and Callisto - to the left and Saturn on the right on the eve of their great conjunction.
This conjunction is the the closest since 1623 (Galileo probably peeked at that one) and the first easily observable one since 1226, when most people were probably preoccupied with dark-age stuff.
Taken with a 300m lens on a DSLR. Thereβs a little bit of motion blur due to the long exposure.
Reading "Running on empty" (childhood emotional neglect)
So I guess I'm still at that mean interior voice and internal shame stage
And I guess my first instinct to complain about her was somehow to punish her for making me feel ashamed? The same was I would complain about my parents in my diary.
But yesterday we talked about the paper, and somehow she's thankful that I tried to help? So I can stop feeling ashamed about it now? Still waiting to be honest
Reading "Running on empty" (childhood emotional neglect)
Still reading, trying to do what the book said. I have trouble figuring out where I am in the process of learning to deal with those.
Just realized on the bus that it was mainly shame that I felt when my supervisor had to reject most of my modifications because we're not supposed to change the whole paper during revision.
Disappointment, but mainly shame because I Should Have Known, now she has more work to fish out useful commentsβ¦
paging scholar.social, seems like this might be useful for yall: https://inciteful.xyz/
Trans catboy
Sleepy physicist
Watching potatoes grow
Trying to draw