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Police mention, why is Paris 

When I took some holidays to go back to France I was told that I'd need to show a vaccination or test certificate to enter literally anything, so I was expecting some kind of agents checking the QR codes when getting off the train.
But no, there was zero check and it was instead police with rifles looking suspiciously at everyone, like France why

Bad work-life balance 

I got a frustrating work day and a weird therapy session but the day is finished and I am officially in vacation!

For a week, which leaves me only a couple of days left from my 2020 vacation days:flan_shrug:

three quick tips for helping people going through stuff (caveat: we are not professionals) 

1. Ring Theory: support the people closer to the stuff than you are, vent your feelings about it to people farther.

2. Follow their lead: don't do "things our society says help", pay attention to what's helping and not helping /this/ person and help them.

3. Validate their feelings: if what happened to them sucked, let them know you agree - it helps people to know they're not Just Being Weak or whatever.

I got side-tracked Friday afternoon when I spent most of the day setting up the measurement I was supposed to finish so I can present the results Monday, so I came to work today, but some other people let their liquid nitrogen container plugged to the refilling station so I can't get any and they don't seem around :blobugh:

But now it's raining so I guess I'll just write in the office instead.

I might make enemies, but I just had jasmine tea and for me it tastes like any other tea has always tasted: slightly bitter warm water :shrug_r2:

I reblogged a post on Tumblr about how the experience of childhood is marginalisation ( and now I'm thinking about how everyone spends their 20s and 30s and often longer just emotionally recovering from having been a child and we just think that's normal.

Why the cancellation of the new NICE guidelines matters, MECFS 

To people outside the #MECFS community who might not know why this matters... The old guidelines included so-called treatments (GET - Graded Exercise Therapy & CBT) that have been proved, at the least, to do nothing, but at the worst, have caused serious damage to a lot of patients with ME. The new guidelines acknowledged & removed them.

By not publishing the new guidelines, doctors etc, can continue to push these damaging treatments. The DWP can continue to push patients to undertake these treatments and deny anyone who refuses, their benefits. And research into ME continues to be stymied, by both stopping people researching the physical causes of ME, and stopping investment in research.

We thought we were finally seeing the end of the BPS (biopsychosocial) model that GET & CBT are based on. Instead, they are continuing to maintain their control over people with ME.

This will also impact on people with #LongCovid, which has a lot of similarities to ME, and who the BPS lot, are now going after.

@MECFS @ChronicIllness

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Yaaayy it's 23, I refilled my chamber with liquid nitrogen, I refilled myself with hot coffee, time to take measurements, measurements, measurements, while I just sing very badly and (not) very loud with a lot of conviction :muscle_hmn_r2:

Trans name troubles 

I also asked the university if I could write my thesis under my new name and they just plain refused, because "the thesis and all publications must use the legal name", which uh, too late. And it made no sense that I can have my work contract at my new name but not my thesis!

So our group secretary started to fight with them and today it turns out that my DGTI Ergänzungsausweis is enough that I can get even my diploma at my new name, even if it's not legal yet :blobcat:

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Trans name troubles, covid vaccine 

In other news I was refused the proof-of-vaccination QR code that I need to enter France, because at work all my papers are at my new name including the papers filled by the doctor, but for travel I need the name on my passport. So I had to go ask the doctor for a different name, and I don't think they understood what happened, they were apologizing for getting my name wrong.

But now I have two papers and I totally intend to get 2 QR codes :flan_guns:

And the bike infrastructure is good here, I had nothing comparable in France where I knew only 2 people using a bike to commute to high school. But sometimes it's confusing and I miss the turn to cross the road and I can't just stop and go back like by foot.
And it needs such a constant attention to be aware of the cars and the footwalkers and the other bikes around and the traffic lights and the lines on the road! I struggle to keep my attention both focused and distributed, if it makes sense.

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I think I can actually enjoy biking, but it's also scary sometimes, when I'm on the bike lane sandwiched between a bus turning right and a truck going forward, and I forgot to place my pedals correctly before stopping (it's a pedal-backwards-to-brake bike) so I'm strugging to start again.
Or when there is a sudden gust of sideway wind throwing me against the sidewalk and I almost fell while cars were passing me by!

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I left the place where I was cat-sitting this morning, and it didn't actually cross my mind that rain was a thing!
So I ended up biking 5.6km uphill, in shorts and t-shirt, under the rain, with a big full backpack, and I wasn't even totally destroyed afterwards like I used to be after 10min with my own bad(ly cleaned or repaired) bike :blobcatsurprised:

Also since last time I wrote anything, I camped in my hammock with my boyfriend who taught me how to safely heat cans on a small fire we made. And I met two kittens who I'm cat-sitting this weekend.
And I improved my Emacs setup to write my thesis a lot, instead of actually writing my thesis :chick_cry_happy:

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I biked the whole pride parade and it turns out that I'm not the only cause of my inability to bike 3km (doing painfully my best to be faster than by foot)! Actually my secondhand rusty bike with the gears stuck and dynamo cable broken and the brake not really braking is a huge part of the problem.

So I spontaneously decided to continue renting a city bike to see if I could be the kind of person who can bike, and it turns out that biking can actually be fun (even if scary with all the cars).

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Eye contact picture 

Last week was Hamburg's bike pride parade and I only wanted to cheer my officemate and his friends from the side, and walk to the arrival point to wait for them, because my experience with biking is that 3km is an awful struggle, so I couldn't imagine 17km.
But my officemate's boyfriend put a rentable city bike in my hands and told me it would be fine and he had way too much top energy for my willpower, so I biked.

I'm in another "aaahhhh" phase of my PhD thesis, aka "I should urgently do these measurements to see if I have any chance to do the second half of my experiences with the laser I ended up having? sure (screams). You also want the first draft of my thesis in two weeks? sure (screams). I should soon ask professors if they can be on my defense committee? sure (screams)."

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Hey friends close and distant, I'm still here.

I was in a particularly silent mood those last months but I was still lurking around most days.

Rechte für trans Personen; Aufruf; bitte boosten 

Am Mittwoch, 19. Mai, liegen im Bundestag Gesetzentwürfe zur Abstimmung an, die das völlig veraltete und größtenteils menschenrechtswidrige "Transsexuellengesetz" durch ein moderneres Selbstbestimmungsrecht ersetzen sollen.
Wenn ihr wollt und könnt, möchte ich euch bitten, euere Abgeordneten daran zu erinnern, warum es eine gute Idee ist, für diese Entwürfe zu stimmen.

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