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German unemployement adventures 

Maybe it could be a kind of low-pressure discovery time when I can try stuff and figure out what I want to do :blobcatsurprised:

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German unemployement adventures 

I successfully clarified (not by talking but by showing the paper) that my phd contract states I work half-time (even if, in practice, work time and phd time are mostly the same), so now I only have to look for jobs up to 20 hours a week.

I asked what kind of jobs, they asked if I knew python, so I guess I'm going to be a part-time programmer next year :oh_no:
(I don't know, maybe I enjoy it)

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Christmas, family death 

I thought I wouldn't be sad because I always thought my uncle was a racist and sexist asshole, but still, it's weird to imagine this hole suddenly being there. And I'm wondering how my cousins and their kids are handling it.

Anyway, I was quite wary of spending this christmas in my family (the last 2 years I didn't), but my parents will be gone again, and it will be weird in a different way.

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Christmas, family death 

My uncle unexpectedly died yesterday, and now my parents are canceling all the holiday plans to come to the village for the burial instead. They asked if I would too, but with end-of-contract work stuff and non-refundable train tickets it would be a mess, so I'll only come next week.
I was barely able to handle seeing my cousin cry at our grandma's burial last year, I'm not ready to see her at her father's near what would be our grandma's birthday.

I'm unexpectedly catsitting this weekend! Meet Yılışık :blobcatlove:
She needs to be kept separated from her brother a few days until a veterinary appointment so she had a long journey through town today.

German unemployement adventures 

I'm getting a face-to-face appointment next week, so hopefully without the added difficulty of a half-broken phone I can try to explain I can't work 40 hours and graduate, I already burned out enough for this thesis :blobugh:

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German unemployement adventures 

They asked how much I was currently working, and I made confused german noises, tried to remember how much the contract says we're supposed to be working (before the pressure of doing 2-3 hours more every day) and totally forgot what the secretary had just said :chick_cry_happy:

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German unemployement adventures 

I had just asked the group secretary about how much time I should be able to spend on my thesis, she said to ask for the same distribution as my contract say (half time work and half time thesis, which always confused me since all work might end up in the thesis)

Then the Arbeitsagentur counseller called me, said I should work full time in addition to the thesis, candidate to one job per week and accept the first position which accepts me :concern:

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German unemployement adventures 

Also I'm glad to report I didn't slip on the decaying leaves on the bike path, I was quite afraid of it after I fell two days ago when trying to do a narrower turn than usual :sweat_smile_ms:

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German unemployement adventures 

I asked them how much I needed to be looking for another job while I'm still a student and writing my thesis, they were not sure and said they'll call me later, let's say half time so far. Let see what my professor says to that :blobjoy:

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German unemployement adventures 

I did it! There wasn't much wait, and the german was not too technical so I could understand everything (except when they asked if my contract had been prolongated, didn't know the word) and they were quite nice.

It was good I brought all the paperwork internet said to, because they asked about it and were happy I had the pension and tax numbers with me.

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German unemployement adventures 

And again, time to leave if I want to make it there early and I didn't shower, aaaahh :blobugh:

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German unemployement adventures 

Or, since I was supposed to leave 45min ago, what if I just have a second coffee and go there some other day :blobcatthinkOwO: :blobcatcoffee:

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German unemployement adventures 

I did wake up early enough to finally go to the Arbeitsagentur today, I just needed to leave already in the past :blobcatsleep:

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Will I ever discover whether or not I have ADHD, the adventure 

I had in my list a local neurologist for a while, but when I looked again they didn't give out appointments until next year, so I was planning to wait.
But then I spend the evening (day :shrug_r2: ) on the subject again, and I found a french-speaking one in Berlin, and french might be required if they need to interview family. There's no visible appointment available but I said screw it and sent a message :crossed_fingers_hmn_r2:

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Instead of working I've spent basically my whole time since yesterday's badly ending meeting doing all the online ADHD quizzes and writing down symptoms lists and looking up doctors and thinking for the 4th or 5th time I should really try to get checked out once, but also I won't because what if I discover I'm just unmotivated and incompetent instead :ms_grimace:

Work negative 

Usually I feel proud with being able to work around broken stuff when I can. Like my phone's main microphone and jack are broken since years and I don't care. Why ask my work to buy a new laptop when all I need is to remember to bring a microphone to the office?

But that's apparently read as having no initiative, so I'm feeling very insecure and a bit hurt. It's not the first time I hear I have no initiative.

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Work negative 

I did ask for the laptop to be repaired once but reinstalling windows didn't repair the hard drive (I figured out the problem too late), and afterwards I didn't want to ask again since I don't actually need this laptop. Usually I bring mine instead if I have a meeting planned, but I forgot today.

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Work negative 

The work laptop with a damaged hard drive I was using during a remote meeting for its camera and webcam suddenly crashed and refused to turn back :oh_no:
So I couldn't speak anymore, but I was still connected with another computer to share slides, and I could listen to my supervisors say I should have a little bit of initiative and ask for another laptop, that it happened before already, I was losing everyone's time, and all that.

My advisor gave me this little list of questions for research when I started working with him, and I've kept it pinned up in my office space ever since. It's surprisingly relevant, even outside academic research.

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